wind, points, return,

wind blows on open field
leaves of brown clink to chain link fence

for today's magic trick
i return to a place i once was
this time as a healthy volunteer
and this time the option is mine to come or go.

no i wasn't in prison,
exactly...

i will learn to be mindful
i will learn to meditate
and my fear of inclosed spaces
will vanish in a puff of smoke
actually that is the worry,
the cable of the elevator breaking
into a puff of smoke

any way
i will learn to sit
and lean into points
and the next time i have to fill out a rather tideous application form
i will not eat a bag of hard candy

but put my fingers on the coffee table like the lady in the video
and contemplate...
contemporary building materials such as plywood..
no no
i will be mindful and conscious
and only have a couple of hard candies
that i taste and suck rather than crunch.

today it was windy
and cold
and owen's tail curled just right
and wearing the chocolate brown parka
zipped up to the top
felt snug
and i worry about being smug

and i worry sometimes
but not as often as i used to
cause leaning into points is prickly
but isn't half as bad as being scared of the big bad wolf of the self.

want a candy
chewy?
or hard?